Cups of Coffee

So much for practicing. Of course, that doesn't mean the trip to the Scheidegger (sp?) was a total loss. That was unexpected, but very welcome. Consequently, however, that now meant that me walking around with music and mallets in hand had to somehow make myself not look like a meandering idiot. I think I pulled it off....I am going back at noonish.

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Jen is great, btw. Really great.

Midnights

I was there a little early. I thought almost too early. But it was barely 9 and you work like clockwork - you love clockwork - and there you were. I'm willing to bet you left no later than 9:15.

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I really have to stop.

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My dog had a mental breakdown, so instead of working on my paper, I came home. Poor guy. My paper's over last year's stuff anyway. Haha!

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I'm with you, there, Freddie Mercury.

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It will be interesting to see where I am a month from now.

Sunsets

Maybe it's just mental blockage. You know, like I think I shouldn't have it, therefore I don't get it.

Well, if that is the case:

I want this, I want this, I want this, I want this, I want this, I want this. Regardless.

I am prepared to face the consequences.

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Is this really want you wanted? You wanted to cut yourself off from people who really cared about you? So all that happened, all that we have been through, all that we talked about just doesn't matter anymore? When you said we would be fine, I was pretty sure you meant it. I think you were too. What happened to make you change your mind?

Yes, I am upset. In part because of what you did, in part because I still love you despite that, and in part because you are forcing me into a decision I just can't make. I will give even though I know I shouldn't. I will fight on your side as I stand by theirs.

I want to take back my well-crafted words. I want to go back in time and decide not to get involved because I don't want to lose you. I don't want to lose anyone. I understand that sometimes it happens, but not like this. Please, not like this.

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I can't wait to see The Almost!!!!! AHHHHHH!!!!!!

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I have to remind myself, he doesn't care about me either. He doesn't care about anyone. But....

I still care about him. What happened?

Daylights

Computer Refugee.

That's what I am. Or rather, that is what Jen is. Her computer doesn't have Word and Ash's trial just ran out so Jen is on my computer desperately trying to finish a lovely paper. It's 5 pages, she is taking forever, but she didn't have Hub, I am sure she is making great time. Therefore, I am blogging from Ash's pc. Maybe I've been spoiled by Sony for too long, but I am just not digging this experience from HP.

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Hey, you, I am really glad we can talk again. You listen and sometimes you don't understand, but most of the time you do and it's fantastic. You don't presume a thing and you take me as I am, no questions (that I don't want to answer) asked. Thanks.

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Colleen and Matt came to visit us today. God, I miss Colleen so! And I miss Matt too! Colleen should just except the fact that she should come to Lindenwood. It's literally just as good, if not better than any other school in the area (WashU aside). Matt is already getting used to the idea of transferring here next Fall and I for one think that's great.

This is the point where I should say that I am pretty damn sure that Matt and Colleen are going to get married and have two beautiful blond haired blue-eyed children and one adorable brown-eyed ginger. One of them will be my godchild. Yup.

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You know me too well. You know, even if I am the most opposed, that I will be the first to take you back with open arms. You know I can't forget how we were. You know that I knew that from the beginning of all of this. You know that I am just as weak as I am strong.

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Tomorrow's mission: Find out the Australian boy from my Criminology class' name. He wants to own his own bar. I want to live with him. So what? Who cares?

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God, I want to perform.
Miss acting far too much. I want to be on the freaking stage. I miss playing too. Damn it.

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Band is in the band room tomorrow. Oh, Life's simple pleasures.