Eureka!

I think I found Jacob, but I can't be sure.
He's the only character I can't cast permanently yet.

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In case you haven't realized, I use the relationships already developed by the characters of the Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer (worth reading) in order to explain my current situation. It doesn't completely explain everything, but it works.

Back to Square One (Again)

I just don't understand.

One minute, I've got everything figured out.
But then (like always) I realize I don't.
And it's not like anything major happens--I just realize I was wrong.

How can the very nature of oneself be hidden from one's own mind and heart for decades at a time? How can something of that magnitude stay hidden, lying dormant, waiting for just the right person to allow oneself to finally see one's own soul correctly for the first time?

How can my mom the music major say she hates band,
Hates theatre,
Hates music?

How come, every once and a while, I really do know where I'm going, where I am, who I love, who I hate, what I love, and what I hate? Why does it have to be so sporadic, arbitrary and random?

It just baffles me.

All I know is when I'm with Alice, I am truly happy and stress free, however odd that may seem. It's like I forget that you are miles and miles away, that I Edward will never truly be as I want him, and I can finally shake this feeling that I'm truly alone.

She is someone I know I could never live without.