Friday, December 23, 2011
I watched this PBS documentary called "God in America" which was extremely interesting. It's basically broke down exactly how the Evangelicals became so involved and influential in conservative politics. It's all Reagan's fault. This explains why the relatively large community of conservative-extremists I shared a high school with seemed to worship Reagan. Hmm.
Anyway, from watching this documentary and thinking quite a bit, I concluded that if the Right Wing wants to realistically end abortion, they have to stop treating it like a political issue and begin to understand it as a social issue. I mean, in Iran, abortion is illegal, which is what the Right Wing wants--it wants to obliterate Planned Parenthood and clinics that offer abortions. Okay. Well, conversely, in Iran it is legal to sell one of your kidneys, granted that it meets certain standards. In fact, Iran is the only country that allows the sale of kidneys. That's ridiculous, right? Yeah, people can live with one kidney, but why would anyone be so desperate for money that they would sell a kidney? The answer is simple: They need the money to pay for black market drugs (that may or may not be expired), and to then pay half-ass operation, under-the-table, group of shady individuals to perform an illegal (and not to mention completely unregulated by medical professionals) abortion. Now, you may think I am inferring this, but I am not--I have watched several documentaries and researched the issue. Clearly, the legal status of abortion makes little difference in the existence of the procedure.
The question, then, is how does one actually put an end to abortion? For me, it seems that Pro-Life Conservatives need to adopt some rather liberal ideals. Starting with teaching legitimate sexual education courses in school and promoting the use of contraceptives during sex. (Notice what I did there? I said, "promoting the use of contraceptives during sex" not "promoting sex", which seems to be a common misinterpretation of the syntax. Please, see the difference.) This would also included changing the legal system's attitude towards rape from "Don't get raped" to the simple, but efficient "Don't rape". And perhaps it wouldn't hurt if everyone came to terms with the idea that women can function in the workplace just as well as men, with or without wanting to "settle down and have a family"--career motivated women can also be good mothers, just as career motivated men can also be good fathers. Men don't have to make a choice, so why should the workplace pressure women into doing so?
Right there, I have outlined every possibly politics-related reason a woman would have an abortion, and it seems to eliminate these reasons politically, the Right Wing Conservatives should consider crossing party lines for a spell. I will concede that there are several other reasons why a woman would want to get an abortion, but the remaining reasons boil down to social-economic and moral atmosphere and personal choice, which for the most part cannot be regulated politically. Hence why I said abortion should be treated as a social issue earlier in this post. And, yes, because those remaining factors cannot be regulated politically, adopting the aforementioned liberal ideals will not bring a complete end to abortion, but it is the closest thing to an end any Pro-Life advocate can realistically hope for. And if, in the words of John Winthrop and later Ronald Reagan, America truly wants to be a "shining city on a hill" for all of society to look towards, our only concern is that we are closer to perfect than anyone else. When it comes to abortion, this is the only way to accomplish that.
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
I am sorry if that is hard for some of my readers to hear, but it is the truth.
If you disagree, I suggest you learn about a people called "Native Americans". I know they aren't that popular these days, but it would probably be worth your while.
We killed a way of life, and we said God smiled on us.
Monday, December 19, 2011
- I love pop-culture more than being cultured.
- I love dance music even if the lyrics suck.
- And sometimes the lyrics don't suck so give the happy music a chance, people.
- I can't dance, but I love doing it.
- Everything is going to be fine.
....WE FOUND LOVE IN HOPELESS PLACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Monday, November 14, 2011
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Monday, October 31, 2011
- Afterlife - It's a decent opener. It has this revolutionary vibe to it, carpe diem or whatever, but it's way too similar to Switchfoot's earlier hit Meant to Live for me. I mean....it's essentially the same message. Still, it's a good song. It has an interesting rhythm to it and a nice sound.
- The Original - Sometimes I think Switchfoot forgets that they have made many, many albums. Sometimes I think that they really think their ideas are so fantastic that they need put out track after track about them. This song...I mean, who were they writing for? The fourteen year old girl in all of us? Be original. That's what this song says. OVER and OVER and OVER. I kept getting the distinct vision of a teen-dance-party montage during this song. Not cool.
- The War Inside - Musically, this song is pretty interesting. Again, however, the idea of personal/spiritual revolution is preached. This song really makes me wonder who Switchfoot's audience truly is. But more on that later. However, the line "We are the kids of the in-between" bothered me to no end. These are middle-aged men. And they are not profound enough to pull off transcendentalism like Emerson.
- Restless - The song is, again, a song of searching and or the re-invention of self. That's basically all that's on this album. Except this one is a ballad. Joy.
- Blinding Light - OH LOOK, it's a repeat of track four, but instead of a teenage girl, we've got a boy. Granted, this song is pretty fun musically. We've got a cool drumbeat and a nice bassline. I'm trying to figure out if Switchfoot would rather be a motivational speaking outfit. SO UPLIFTING.
- Selling the News - WHERE DO I BEGIN WITH THIS SONG? See, it's this kind of crap that really bothers me with Switchfoot. They ALWAYS have a track where they just decided to get on a soapbox and rant about the media. About how "truth" gets muddled in everyday life. It's so ridiculous. I can't deal with it. I actually get angry because where do they get off condemning the media? THEY ARE PART OF THE MEDIA. Look, I get it, I lived through American Idiot, I understand the whole rebellion thing. But all this song is saying is that the media is this ugly, lying entity, and that by being suspicious of everything (rather than just secular sources), we are becoming just as bad as the evil perpetuated in the media--that Switchfoot is somehow separated from. Probably the most disturbing verse of this song is the line "See, opinions are easier to swallow than facts/the greys instead of the whites and the blacks." Anyone who knows anything about Switchfoot knows that they are a semi-Christian band that construct their songs in such a way that they always have two meanings: a secular one and a Christian one. Knowing this, what that line says from a Christian standpoint is to only accept the "truth" and nothing else. However, it presumes that the "truth" has one true and consistent interpretation. This is completely untrue. This song is promoting a closed-minded perspective without compassion for those who come from a different viewpoint, which is holistically an very un-Christian stance. Christianity has always been perceived as a spirituality of compassion and understanding, and this song contradicts that in the very first verse.
- Thrive - Another lovely ballad about spiritual re-invention. Nothing new. I am beginning to wonder if Switchfoot as produced anything truly "new" since 2004.
- Dark Horses - At least this song is musically exciting. I wouldn't mind learning this on guitar. In fact, I actually like this song. Yeah, it's uplifting and about revolution and about spiritual re-invention, but it's presented in such a way that I don't want to punch anyone in the face. Good job.
- Souvenirs - This song is probably the best song on the album because it's not general. Switchfoot isn't trying to take this transcendentalist viewpoint on spiritual revolution. This is a personal song. It's real. It's about love and loss. A listener can relate to it on a very personal level, but it's still only the speaker's message. If Switchfoot could do this for a few more tracks, I might like them. But alas.
- Rise Above It - On the whole, aside from the energetic music, this song is entirely uninteresting. See tracks 1-5 and 7.
- Vice Verse - This is a song about being human. Such a new concept about for Switchfoot. Very Emersonian....lame.
- Where I Belong - This song is seven minutes long. I love the music, so I just ignore everything else. I mean, the message is fine...but it's basically a repeat of this entire album. Nothing remarkable.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Monday, October 24, 2011
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Here's the thing about college: It's stupid expensive.
I don't really understand why it's so expensive, but I do know that the expense is not relative. The cost of an American college education is far more expensive than, say, a Canadian college education. What's worse is the value of a colleged education is decreasing exponentially. Today's bachlor's degree is the high school diploma of fifty years ago--it's practically expected if you want to make any sort of decent living.
So if somebody wants to do more than just make a decent living, additional college is required. I mean, it's been practically a given since I started college, that in order to be really successful, I am going to have to go to grad school. Just chalk up another fifty grand or so to my student debt.
Naturally, the idea that colleges are going to start basing admission on a student's ability to pay is kind of frustrating. I mean, if a kid works their ass off to meet all of the admission requirements and get the good grades, they should get in. It shouldn't matter if the student is poor. Brains over Brawn/Financial Stability, right?
However, economic hardship is relative. I mean, I guess it's understandable that colleges would want to get away from admitting students who are less likely to keep up their end of the bargain. A college is a business too--they need to pay the bills.
I guess it's our own fault though. This is America--the shining example of capitalism. Money gets you everywhere and charity is rare. If you want something, you have to work for it. And I guess in the case of college, "work for it" will now also have to include three part time jobs as well as exemplary grades and involvment in extracuriculars. Good luck Class of 2013.
Friday, September 30, 2011
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Monday, September 19, 2011
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Monday, August 29, 2011
Monday, August 22, 2011
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Friday, July 29, 2011
Monday, July 25, 2011
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
My mother and I had every intention of going up to Lindenwood to do early check-in, but we had some bugs to work out first. America decided I no longer needed one of my loans this year, whatever reason. I also realized that I really was being charged for my overload courses and that sucks. Both of these financial changes ultimately doubled my out-of-pocket cost, which naturally alarmed my mother quite a bit. So we put the early check-in on pause and decided to figure some stuff out.
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Friday, July 15, 2011
Monday, July 11, 2011
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Friday, July 1, 2011
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Family, you know? :)
So, I finally found our television parallel (a year too late). Don't laugh....that much.
Xena and Gabrielle
It would have been a perfect fit. But now, knowing what I know about myself and about you, it's inappropriate.
The show is still good though, in a corny-90s television-kind of way.
YOU GUYS, THIS SUCKS. After ending our last conversation (blogged about below) rather abruptly, I have YET to talk to Kellan. I am really going insane here. It's kind of like that time in seventh grade when he left to El Paso (sp?), Texas to visit his Dad for Christmas early (OR SOMETHING, I don't remember exactly, it was six years ago and I was very distraught). He left about a week early and I assumed the worse: Either he died or he moved away without telling me. Half of me was angry and the other half was mortified.
Yeah, it's like that but approximately 7418529637418529637589456123 TIMES WORSE.
Sure, you can try to tell me that there is a perfectly logical and non-lethal reason for him not being able to communicate with me, but HELLO - I have Ruschenberg blood running through my veins. I will worry, and I will continue to worry until I have proof he is alive and well. Telling me not to worry just sounds like ignoring the fact that there is a reason to worry--regardless of whether or not I blow it out of proportion.
To try to cope, my mind does one of two things.
1. Retreats to past memories - I'm talking 2005 here
2. Propels into possible positive future situations
I am sure that both are unhealthy in their own ways.
The future situations are kind of like those dreams I've been having in that they are so convincing. In full on state of catharsis, I believe that this is my future - not a possible future. It's almost as bad as when I was 12, guys.
But then again, there was a certain beauty about being twelve. At least, that is what I have come to realize. When I was twelve, I was going to be a rockstar and I was going to write a book by the age of fifteen that was going to be so good Oprah would want me on her show. When I was twelve, I thought I had met my soulmate - I believed in soulmates, no question - and he was my best friend too. So cool. And it wasn't just about me. When I was twelve, Jordan was going to be an accomplished pianist when he grew up. Rory and I were going to be in a band together. Kelsey was going to be in the Olympics, Tara was this really amazing singer who secretly liked that genius, Ryan Carpenter, and Laura was going to be an amazing artist, and why in God's name would Karlee ever pursue a career other than being a vet?
This was my past, present, and future according to me when I was twelve. Everything was only a matter of time.
But now I'm smarter than that, right? How many people hold onto the futures they set for themselves when they are twelve? Not many. That's only practical - things change, people change, opportunities come and go - life just happens, you know? And we adjust. The futures we set for ourselves at any age evolve and adapt to what happens in Life. Through it all, a path is cleared, and that is your life. Call it Fate, call it God, call it the Force, it doesn't matter. What matters is, that at some point or another, you get to a point and you know that this is your life. At that moment of revelation, the important thing is that you are happy where you have ended up.
Okay, so go back to Life According to Natalie at Twelve. Go through and see how many of those possible futures are still valid. Some are. And of those that aren't, it's not like that many of them were ridiculous. Personally, I don't see how I am any better than how I was at twelve. In fact, I would say that I am worse off. Now, if you ask me what I want for myself, I say that I want to end up employed. Soulmates exist, but I don't know if that applies to me. In regards to anyone else, all I can say is that I hope that they end up happy. Not even happy, but content enough not to consider themselves unhappy.
At least at twelve, I was confident and articulate. At twelve, I wasn't afraid of Life at all - it could only hold great things for me.
Yeah, Life at Twelve was unrealistic, but it was still good. In Life at Twelve, it was only a matter of time before everyone ended up happy. The eventual path that cleared could only lead to happiness. And I really think whether or not those possible futures happened or not made that much of difference. I just knew that at the time, that's what would make everyone happy, so that's what hoped and prayed for, and eventually that is what I believed in.
So I guess what I am trying to get to is why I am afraid to believe that I could possibly end up happy. Why is it bad that I am believing in Life at Twelve (at least in regards to me) again? Why do I feel like that is wrong or stupid? What's wrong with it?
It's so scary. That's what it is. It's freaking scary. Now, at nineteen, Life is scary. And I can't really tell whether or not I was young and blind at twelve or if I just have my blinders on now. Does living make you wise, or stupid?
Right now, I guess, I'm just worried. Yeah, worried and scared. The path seems clear, but there is a lot of underbrush to clear away first.
Monday, May 30, 2011
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Monday, May 23, 2011
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Or something to that effect anyway.
First, I agree. Why drink wine you don't like?
Second, I decided that life is too short to waste on people who don't make you smile.
I really don't know how to apply that though. My aim is to just spend time with people who make me smile A LOT.
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Thursday, May 19, 2011
What strength I must acquire, what faith I must embrace.
I take Your hand, and I pull myself up. This is my true life.
Stripped down and purged, I stand before You. As I hope every day that I will no longer falter. That I will no longer succumb.
What a marvelous gift.
It’s like I’ve been robbed of something
I once was in my childhood memories
And it’s buried in sandboxes back where we used to see
The dreams could come true if believed
The sidewalks scream our names
We are so
Far from home
Far from home
I’ve got a bad pain in my heart
It’s like the first time that I looked in your eyes
The first time it all fall apart
And it’s buried in sandboxes back where we used to see
The dreams could come true if believed
The sidewalks scream our names
We are so
Far from home
Far from home
All I have is words
To which I’m a slave
I scribble them down
Hoping to save me
But I’m lost
I’m so lost
These pages will burn
And I’ll pass away
And I just can’t shake
The fact that I’m lost
I’m so lost
But now we are so far from home
Far from home
Now we are so far from home
Far from home
Monday, May 16, 2011
Why is everyone so sensitive to her, and so...well words fail me right now...not sensitive to me?
It's probably my main question. Because that's what gets me every time. Could I really have been so disposable?
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Wait it out while I am someone else?
And I, in time, will come around, come around
I always do for you
Suppose I said
You're my saving grace?
Monday, May 9, 2011
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Monday, May 2, 2011
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Sometimes things are just meant to be.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Monday, April 18, 2011
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Saturday, April 9, 2011
I'm going to go ahead and adopt my mom's policy of "Screw 'Em" for this situation. I'm willing to work with you guys here, but I think you just like a reason to be mad at me so....meh.
I had another weird dream. Hmm. I think I'll be fine. :)
YOU ROCK THAT BLUE SWEATER.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Monday, April 4, 2011
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
"Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over all wrongs.” – Proverbs 10:12
“We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, “I love God,” yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen.” – 1 John 4:19-20
I think my favorite part about these verses is where they were brought to my attention.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Or say something?
Considering that I don't know what is going on, I figure it's best just to stay quiet.
Ugh, now I feel like an ass for going to bed early and missing you! :(
New guitar means new songs. :)
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Pi Day is Monday. I did manage to find a Pi Day gig, so I am pretty pleased. Several actually. I just don't know if I can go to both.
I am looking towards this summer--towards seeing Chicago, and spending time with people who love me more often.
After talking with a wise, brown sage, I am looking forward to Spring Break as well.
When it comes down to it, I made myself miserable this whole time. Somewhere along the way, between trying to salvage what I could and letting go of what I couldn't, I let go of myself. It wasn't "The Family" who made me happy. I was naturally happy, but this transition made me forget that.
Well, no more. Time to go back to being me, and evolving that into who I am meant to be.