Maybe it's because I have met only two people that I really get, and that really get me.
(I suppose that sentence should be in the past-tense because both of those people are no longer parts of my life.)
Maybe I really do get closer than I intend to people. Maybe despite all my talk of being independent, maybe I am just more dependent than anyone else.
I am struggling to find my footing. To find the next step to take. I say I want something to happen, but I live in the past, so how can anything possibly progress? How can I expect that?
This weekend was really good.
It was really nice to see Karlee and Kelsey, and to meet Bridget and Carbon.
I felt good for the first time in a long time. I felt like me - kind of anyway. I didn't feel down. I just felt like this was all shit I was going to get through, and things were actually going to be better. It wasn't like every other night where I think of all the great things that will never happen, of all the things I did wrong, of all the mistakes I have made.
I was just me. And I had no reason to be ashamed of anything that I am or that I have done.
It was really nice.
Even if I wanted to
I couldn't walk away from you
Because the minute I did it
I would want to tell you all about it