Friday, December 26, 2008

Cinematic Moments Are the Best

I am living in a state I never thought I would be living in.
My dearest friend knows my darkest secret.
Yet, they have not abandoned me.
They have not said the horrible words I swore I would hear.
They have not cut me off.
I am not forced to observe them from an afar.
Quite the contrary.

Though the direct aftermath was Hell.
And it seemed all my fears were now staring me in the face.
In those few days of solitude,
I was prepared to suffer my fate, life without them, without protest.
But it seems that, as they predicted, they could not bear it.
They needed me as much a I need them.
And were willing to forgive me.
I did not account for this,
And from it grew the hope that maybe I could live the life I had seemingly destroyed.
What an impossibility.

When they reached out to me,
All my well-rehearsed apologies didn't matter.
And their cinematic declaration proved sound.
We are closer.
We are stronger.
And I find that I had it all wrong.
When the others told me I got the wrong one, I denied it.
But it's proved to be more true than any other statement made.
The sun is higher than the sky.
And I feel free at last.

The declaration comes back to me now, and I smile.
Promise you won't hate me after this, okay?
You know I can't do that. You make me laugh too much.
Well, I hope that proves true.
And may be the others were right.
Maybe I did get the wrong one.
All I know is that now I feel that I got the best one.
They know that I lie, and they finally see me with all my flaws.
And they still trust me.
They still love me.

I am in a state of living I never thought I'd be living in.
It's called Euphoria.


Sorry about neglecting my blog for so long!
Although, I really don't know who reads this aside from my aunts....

My December was rough.
My report card will suck, and I probably failed Trig, but you know I don't actually need three credits of math to graduate so it doesn't really matter.
I had....I guess you could call it a fight even though it really didn't involve any normal aspects of a fight with my best friend and was given the Cold Shoulder TIMES A BILLION for a week and about died because of it. (That's what the first part of this post is about.)
Of course, this all ties into the all the people I've previously mentioned in this blog such as Ed, Jacob, and Alice, so for all of you out there (my aunts) trying to figure out who the Hell I'm actually talking about--here's another piece of the puzzle! (Cris, don't be a cheater and ask my mom either! She doesn't know! Hahaha!)
Obviously, I'm in a much better mood right now. I'm just really bored because I haven't seen anyone aside from my family for a solid week. I mean, I love them, but I am definitely missing Ashley and Jen and Kim and LUCY! (Even though I wouldn't be able to see Lucy anyway because she's in freaking SOUTH DAKOTAH!) (Same with Kim--she's in freaking MICHIGAN!) Is it so much to ask to have friends over ONE day over break? Blahhhhhhhhh! Or perhaps some cousins? Seriously...Chrismas=Extended family too, righ?! But I guess I'll get to see everybody tomorrow at the family Christmas, so I really shouldn't be complaining. But I am. Hahahaha.

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