To put it simply, I am fed up. I'm not going to graduate borderline obese. I'm not going to start college this way either. I don't want to be this way anymore. But dammit, why do I have to be the one who actually has to work out? Why can't I just low-carb it or cut more calories? Oh, that's right! Because I have relatively good eating habits, however my metabolism is dead. FML.
I figure if I can shed 3-5 pounds every other week, I'll be set. Damn, damn, damn!
DDR is really nice though. :)
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
I'm Sorry I Can't Manage to Blog Regularly
Really, I am.
School is good. I do nothing all day "....and I don't give a SHIT!" Haha. It's nice, I mean after having years upon years of nose to the grindstone workload, it's nice to be able to breathe.
My birthday is coming up. It's my eighteenth birthday. That makes me an adult, right? I'm considered an adult by the law. I can vote. I can fill out a credit application. I can sign up to be considered to be a tester for the new game Star Wars: The Old Republic. Yes, that definitely makes me an adult.
I'm listening to my Yearbook Adviser teach her one of her LA III classes. I should just admit it to myself: I'm going to be an English teacher at some point in my life. Ah, jeez.
College.....what a horrible decision for a minor to make. Good thing I'll be an adult in a few weeks, a wave of true enlightenment will then envelop me and all will become clear. Wait.....isn't that nirvana?
School is good. I do nothing all day "....and I don't give a SHIT!" Haha. It's nice, I mean after having years upon years of nose to the grindstone workload, it's nice to be able to breathe.
My birthday is coming up. It's my eighteenth birthday. That makes me an adult, right? I'm considered an adult by the law. I can vote. I can fill out a credit application. I can sign up to be considered to be a tester for the new game Star Wars: The Old Republic. Yes, that definitely makes me an adult.
I'm listening to my Yearbook Adviser teach her one of her LA III classes. I should just admit it to myself: I'm going to be an English teacher at some point in my life. Ah, jeez.
College.....what a horrible decision for a minor to make. Good thing I'll be an adult in a few weeks, a wave of true enlightenment will then envelop me and all will become clear. Wait.....isn't that nirvana?
Friday, July 24, 2009
As I Wait For Eggs To Boil
I dunno why, but I really have a craving for egg salad.
Anyway, I got really close to the conclusion of my quest to defeat Meatloaf. But then I bought Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children--Complete and now I am finding it hard to resume my quest. I mean, I already know how it ends, Aeris already died, I found out why Cloud is so freaking moody. So really, is there any need to continue?
I am such a slacker.
Yearbook camp was great. Me, Madz and Becca came up with a killer theme: "NOW is the Time".
I started going to this bible study group out of the Callahan church (Eagle Point). All seems well right now, but I've only been there two times. I wonder when I will really start to cause problems.
I currently hold all the top records on Wii Fit. Yes, and I am a crippled.
Pit camp starts Monday, and (hopefully) so will the filming of my new documentary. God willing.
Psst Don't tell anybody, but I'm kinda excited to head back to school.
-----
You came, you left.
And all I had was a glimpse.
Partly your fault, partly chance.
But mostly me and my shaky hands,
Unable to grasp a telephone.
But at least I know now
That I am just as alive to you
As you are to me.
If only I could now tell the truth.
Anyway, I got really close to the conclusion of my quest to defeat Meatloaf. But then I bought Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children--Complete and now I am finding it hard to resume my quest. I mean, I already know how it ends, Aeris already died, I found out why Cloud is so freaking moody. So really, is there any need to continue?
I am such a slacker.
Yearbook camp was great. Me, Madz and Becca came up with a killer theme: "NOW is the Time".
I started going to this bible study group out of the Callahan church (Eagle Point). All seems well right now, but I've only been there two times. I wonder when I will really start to cause problems.
I currently hold all the top records on Wii Fit. Yes, and I am a crippled.
Pit camp starts Monday, and (hopefully) so will the filming of my new documentary. God willing.
Psst Don't tell anybody, but I'm kinda excited to head back to school.
-----
You came, you left.
And all I had was a glimpse.
Partly your fault, partly chance.
But mostly me and my shaky hands,
Unable to grasp a telephone.
But at least I know now
That I am just as alive to you
As you are to me.
If only I could now tell the truth.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Fine--You Got Me
I haven't resumed my battle with Meatloaf. It's irritating. But I am attending Yearbook Camp which is somewhat entertaining. We are getting a lot accomplished.
-----
lol God.
Freaking funny.
Fine.
-----
lol God.
Freaking funny.
Fine.
Saturday, July 4, 2009
As Meatloaf Massacres the Land...
So, my break from fighting Sephiroth is turning out to be a lot longer than preferred. I am in Alabama, which means no FFVII. That also equals a somewhat miffed Natalie. But it's alright, I'm dealing. I have a FFVII desktop background now to help me cope. Christopher and I are now referring to Sephiroth as 'Meatloaf'. (It was a long process to come to that--first it was Sephirloaf, then Supperloaf, then Meatloaf.) But anyway, things are good-ish.
-----
Last night, instead of sleeping,
I thought.
And thought.
And thought.
I decided to plead a little.
Then a lot.
I am broken and you are the missing piece.
I just want that back.
I figure it's not that much to ask.
Especially since I'm like Bella in New Moon.
Except Jacob just doesn't exist.
That's right, I've got a gaping hole.
....
Okay, maybe not to that severity.
But the idea is conveyed, is it not?
I've realized all too late my mistake.
I simply ask to correct it.
I mean, you couldn't come in my life just to leave me in such a way.
You mean too much for that.
And I think the Powers That Be realize that.
Hopefully, my request will be granted.
After all, I've promised anything and everything.
-----
Alabama is great for the first time in a long time.
But I still want to fight Meatloaf.
:)
-----
Last night, instead of sleeping,
I thought.
And thought.
And thought.
I decided to plead a little.
Then a lot.
I am broken and you are the missing piece.
I just want that back.
I figure it's not that much to ask.
Especially since I'm like Bella in New Moon.
Except Jacob just doesn't exist.
That's right, I've got a gaping hole.
....
Okay, maybe not to that severity.
But the idea is conveyed, is it not?
I've realized all too late my mistake.
I simply ask to correct it.
I mean, you couldn't come in my life just to leave me in such a way.
You mean too much for that.
And I think the Powers That Be realize that.
Hopefully, my request will be granted.
After all, I've promised anything and everything.
-----
Alabama is great for the first time in a long time.
But I still want to fight Meatloaf.
:)
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
This Is Me Taking A Break From Fighting Sephiroth
So for the majority of the day, I played Final Fantasy VII. It's really an amazing game. I love it. I can easily see why it's considered to be the greatest game of all time amongst many gamers. Plus, I'm really starting to understand Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children alot better.
I really wish that life was like that in the Final Fantasy Universe. That is to say, I wish people dressed in awesome battle gear specific to there class, carried around awesome weapons, and could cast magic as long as you had enough MP. I wish that instead of sending an army to defend us from danger, we could just find a local, conflicted but strong young person to save the world. They would be stronger than the army anyway. Once that person was identified, though out there journey, he or she would assemble a multifaceted party--each member would be equally as strong, but in a different area. Periodically, the party would run into monsters and would easily defeat each and every one, gaining experience along the way. And if by a small chance one member of the party was defeated, someone would just purchase a bit of Phoenix Down to revive the fallen comrade. I mean, seriously, wouldn't you like to a part of something like that?
Unfortunately, we do not life like that though. And that kinda sucks.
-----
Last night I dreamed of you again.
You visited me.
It was like old times.
We were having fun.
You were complaining about how you hate where you live and wish things could be different.
Still, you had to leave.
That would have been fine, except I woke up just as you were leaving.
Consequently, I was not able to say goodbye.
How horribly ironic.
Will you ever leave me?
Will life ever stop shoving my greatest regret in my face?
I fear not.
I really wish that life was like that in the Final Fantasy Universe. That is to say, I wish people dressed in awesome battle gear specific to there class, carried around awesome weapons, and could cast magic as long as you had enough MP. I wish that instead of sending an army to defend us from danger, we could just find a local, conflicted but strong young person to save the world. They would be stronger than the army anyway. Once that person was identified, though out there journey, he or she would assemble a multifaceted party--each member would be equally as strong, but in a different area. Periodically, the party would run into monsters and would easily defeat each and every one, gaining experience along the way. And if by a small chance one member of the party was defeated, someone would just purchase a bit of Phoenix Down to revive the fallen comrade. I mean, seriously, wouldn't you like to a part of something like that?
Unfortunately, we do not life like that though. And that kinda sucks.
-----
Last night I dreamed of you again.
You visited me.
It was like old times.
We were having fun.
You were complaining about how you hate where you live and wish things could be different.
Still, you had to leave.
That would have been fine, except I woke up just as you were leaving.
Consequently, I was not able to say goodbye.
How horribly ironic.
Will you ever leave me?
Will life ever stop shoving my greatest regret in my face?
I fear not.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
No One Mourns The Wicked
I love the Wicked soundtrack.
I fear that my life will end up being defined by the role of the Wicked Witch of the West.
I'm starting to adore anything green.
The thing about volunteer work is that you have to volunteer to do it.
Otherwise you die.
On the same coin, you have to be able to end the volunteering when you are maxxed out.
It's not volunteering if you are trapped.
For example:
Yesterday, my mom came home at two in the morning.
She said, "I don't like having a job."
I replied, "A job would have let you off hours ago."
I have two goals the summer.
1. Beat three videogames (Titles already determined.)
2. To play with my band.
I haven't started on either and my summer is moving far to quickly.
Remember the Twilight movie?
Remember the disappointment?
Kristen Stewart's face was only capable of producing seizures.
Instead of sparkling, Edward just became pixlated.
Remember?
Of course, I blamed the actors and special effects people at first. However, upon examining Kristen Stewart's other films, I have come to a new conclusion.
Twilight's failure was the director's fault.
In the movie representation of Speak (which was fantastic), Kristen Stewart was amazing. I didn't see a single seizure grace her face. Then I remembered that in her other films (I've seen every movie she has been except one), she didn't have facial seizures either. Now this didn't make any sense! Why did she suck all of a sudden? Obviously, the direction was at fault.
This infuriated me.
Considering that I am planning to go to school to become a director, it doesn't make any sense to me that someone who has been educated to direct a film would fail at it. Especially a film with the resources that Twilight had. An audience rarely thinks of the director when the see a film. If they think of anything other than the plot, it's usually a special effect or an actor's performance. Usually, if an actor sucks, it's obviously the actor's fault. If the movie sucks--all the actors suck, the special effects are bad, the editing is bad--one usually comes to the conclusion that the movie had a budget issue. This was not the case with Twilight. Most of the actors were pretty good--even Kristen Stewart had some good moments--about half of the special effects were good, the editing was alright, and everyone knows the budget wasn't really an issue. So why did the movie suck? Really, the only conclusion left to draw is that the director simply failed.
I did some research and the director of Twilight, Catherine Hardwicke, experience in the movie business has mostly been as a production designer and she had only directed three other films (two were absolute flops) before directing Twilight. Seriously, who hired this person?
Fortunately, they have hired a different director,Chris Weitz, for New Moon. He has directed four films before directing New Moon (three of which were box office hits), produced ten films and several TV series, and written for three films and two TV series. This is a much more quailified individual. So if this movie sucks chances is are it won't be his fault, but I'm gonna keep my fingers crossed anyway.
So.
I started reading My Sister's Keeper.
It's really good.
I am really excited and nervous to see the film.
If it's good, it will be amazing.
If it's not, I will cry and curse the film industry.
This was really long.
My mom's gripping at me to get off.
Sorry.
I fear that my life will end up being defined by the role of the Wicked Witch of the West.
I'm starting to adore anything green.
The thing about volunteer work is that you have to volunteer to do it.
Otherwise you die.
On the same coin, you have to be able to end the volunteering when you are maxxed out.
It's not volunteering if you are trapped.
For example:
Yesterday, my mom came home at two in the morning.
She said, "I don't like having a job."
I replied, "A job would have let you off hours ago."
I have two goals the summer.
1. Beat three videogames (Titles already determined.)
2. To play with my band.
I haven't started on either and my summer is moving far to quickly.
Remember the Twilight movie?
Remember the disappointment?
Kristen Stewart's face was only capable of producing seizures.
Instead of sparkling, Edward just became pixlated.
Remember?
Of course, I blamed the actors and special effects people at first. However, upon examining Kristen Stewart's other films, I have come to a new conclusion.
Twilight's failure was the director's fault.
In the movie representation of Speak (which was fantastic), Kristen Stewart was amazing. I didn't see a single seizure grace her face. Then I remembered that in her other films (I've seen every movie she has been except one), she didn't have facial seizures either. Now this didn't make any sense! Why did she suck all of a sudden? Obviously, the direction was at fault.
This infuriated me.
Considering that I am planning to go to school to become a director, it doesn't make any sense to me that someone who has been educated to direct a film would fail at it. Especially a film with the resources that Twilight had. An audience rarely thinks of the director when the see a film. If they think of anything other than the plot, it's usually a special effect or an actor's performance. Usually, if an actor sucks, it's obviously the actor's fault. If the movie sucks--all the actors suck, the special effects are bad, the editing is bad--one usually comes to the conclusion that the movie had a budget issue. This was not the case with Twilight. Most of the actors were pretty good--even Kristen Stewart had some good moments--about half of the special effects were good, the editing was alright, and everyone knows the budget wasn't really an issue. So why did the movie suck? Really, the only conclusion left to draw is that the director simply failed.
I did some research and the director of Twilight, Catherine Hardwicke, experience in the movie business has mostly been as a production designer and she had only directed three other films (two were absolute flops) before directing Twilight. Seriously, who hired this person?
Fortunately, they have hired a different director,Chris Weitz, for New Moon. He has directed four films before directing New Moon (three of which were box office hits), produced ten films and several TV series, and written for three films and two TV series. This is a much more quailified individual. So if this movie sucks chances is are it won't be his fault, but I'm gonna keep my fingers crossed anyway.
So.
I started reading My Sister's Keeper.
It's really good.
I am really excited and nervous to see the film.
If it's good, it will be amazing.
If it's not, I will cry and curse the film industry.
This was really long.
My mom's gripping at me to get off.
Sorry.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
She Was Never Perfect, But Oh My Friend Neither Were You
I have one more day.
Technically, it's a half day, but I'm gonna be there at least until three.
So one more day.
But it's a horrible day.
I still really don't know my fate when it comes to math.
I may not get the guitar.
....
Screw that, I am getting that guitar regardless of what happens.
I can't wait until next year, but I want this summer to last long.
I don't want to ever feel like I feel right now again.
Completely and totally exhausted.
I need to rest.
I need a new start.
Thank God it happens in 24 hours.
Technically, it's a half day, but I'm gonna be there at least until three.
So one more day.
But it's a horrible day.
I still really don't know my fate when it comes to math.
I may not get the guitar.
....
Screw that, I am getting that guitar regardless of what happens.
I can't wait until next year, but I want this summer to last long.
I don't want to ever feel like I feel right now again.
Completely and totally exhausted.
I need to rest.
I need a new start.
Thank God it happens in 24 hours.
Friday, April 10, 2009
Holy Crap It Has Been Two Months!
So sorry I have been away so long!
Uh....
So.
My group of friends is falling apart, and they still don't get why I feel the need to branch off.
I am still failing Math.
But I'm trying.
Really trying.
So that's it right now.
Uh....
So.
My group of friends is falling apart, and they still don't get why I feel the need to branch off.
I am still failing Math.
But I'm trying.
Really trying.
So that's it right now.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
I Really Should Blog More Often
So, the musical went well, despite me losing my voice on the last performance. (Apparently it made me sound more witchy.) Phenomenal even. We had record-breaking sales and attendance. I get recognized in the hallways now.
I miss it so much. I miss my drama family. Yes, that right, family. We really bonded this time. I've been involved with drama and band for three years and yearbook for two, and I have never experienced the family feeling I felt with this cast.
There were no cliques, no defined lines.
We were one big happy family.
And Sunday was the first day I spent without seeing any of them.
No Tony, no Mike, no Brad, no Jake.
No Tim, no Ashley, no Monica, no Kara.
No Lexi, no Sara, no Nick and Aleshia.
No Kaitlyn.
No Mrs. Hill.
Yeah, needless to say I was very crabby that day.
I mean, I would look at the clock and it would be 7:30 and I wasn't on stage. I wasn't green. It felt so weird. I was uncomfortable. It seemed to be a feeling shared with the entire cast because we all went to Facebook and chatted it up until about 9:30--right when the show would have ended.
I was so glad to go to school today, so I could at least see some of the cast.
But I hardly saw Tony and Brad, and I didn't see Tim, Mike, and Jake at all. It felt so weird. I made a point to go see Mrs. Hill though. She works up in the Bridges building, which the rest of Seckman is supposed to pretend doesn't exist. I was getting a quote for my yearbook spread, so it's not like I went up there just to visit. Haha.
Hey, after someone paints you green for two weeks in a row, you grow attached!
We are all supposed to get together Wednesday to watch the recording and sign the banner and stuff, and hopefully it won't be the last of our "family reunions."
----
I met five amazing people.
The boys became my shoulders,
On which to laugh and cry.
He became my hug,
That I grew to need every night.
Sister was my sister,
Rosemary Clooney song and all.
And she
became that calm voice all need to hear
Directed to no one else at all.
I met so many amazing people.
Brothers and sisters
Friends and lovers
And somehow
I think no one will forget
It's like this is stone-set
I will not forget the amazing people.
Not the five
Not anyone else
I will remember this
If I forget all else.
We will never again be the same people.
Some will leave
Though some will stay.
We will never be what we were again
Though we will never forget those days.
It was pain.
It was joy.
It was work.
It was more.
It was life.
Or lack thereof.
It was something in all things above.
This is a ridiculous
Ranting of a poet
Tired and crazy.
And she doesn't even know it.
But my heart still beats of those days
And I don't want that to go away.
I met five amazing people.
I will not lose the boys
Who became my shoulders
On which to laugh and cry
Or He who became my hug
That I grew to need every night
I will not lose Sister who became my sister
Rosemary Clooney song and all
And I will not lose her
The calm voice that all need to hear
Directed to no one else at all.
I miss it so much. I miss my drama family. Yes, that right, family. We really bonded this time. I've been involved with drama and band for three years and yearbook for two, and I have never experienced the family feeling I felt with this cast.
There were no cliques, no defined lines.
We were one big happy family.
And Sunday was the first day I spent without seeing any of them.
No Tony, no Mike, no Brad, no Jake.
No Tim, no Ashley, no Monica, no Kara.
No Lexi, no Sara, no Nick and Aleshia.
No Kaitlyn.
No Mrs. Hill.
Yeah, needless to say I was very crabby that day.
I mean, I would look at the clock and it would be 7:30 and I wasn't on stage. I wasn't green. It felt so weird. I was uncomfortable. It seemed to be a feeling shared with the entire cast because we all went to Facebook and chatted it up until about 9:30--right when the show would have ended.
I was so glad to go to school today, so I could at least see some of the cast.
But I hardly saw Tony and Brad, and I didn't see Tim, Mike, and Jake at all. It felt so weird. I made a point to go see Mrs. Hill though. She works up in the Bridges building, which the rest of Seckman is supposed to pretend doesn't exist. I was getting a quote for my yearbook spread, so it's not like I went up there just to visit. Haha.
Hey, after someone paints you green for two weeks in a row, you grow attached!
We are all supposed to get together Wednesday to watch the recording and sign the banner and stuff, and hopefully it won't be the last of our "family reunions."
----
I met five amazing people.
The boys became my shoulders,
On which to laugh and cry.
He became my hug,
That I grew to need every night.
Sister was my sister,
Rosemary Clooney song and all.
And she
became that calm voice all need to hear
Directed to no one else at all.
I met so many amazing people.
Brothers and sisters
Friends and lovers
And somehow
I think no one will forget
It's like this is stone-set
I will not forget the amazing people.
Not the five
Not anyone else
I will remember this
If I forget all else.
We will never again be the same people.
Some will leave
Though some will stay.
We will never be what we were again
Though we will never forget those days.
It was pain.
It was joy.
It was work.
It was more.
It was life.
Or lack thereof.
It was something in all things above.
This is a ridiculous
Ranting of a poet
Tired and crazy.
And she doesn't even know it.
But my heart still beats of those days
And I don't want that to go away.
I met five amazing people.
I will not lose the boys
Who became my shoulders
On which to laugh and cry
Or He who became my hug
That I grew to need every night
I will not lose Sister who became my sister
Rosemary Clooney song and all
And I will not lose her
The calm voice that all need to hear
Directed to no one else at all.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
They're Catching On
So, what is a blog?
I really don't know.
Isn't like a diary?
I mean, that's how I've been treating it.
(So yes, dear aunts, I would write this way in a diary.)
With that said, here's one for current events:
I've got a reader and they are on to me.
Oddly, it's the most amazing thing ever.
I love it--the idea that someone actually understands my doublespeak.
Maybe I'm making a big deal of it, but it doesn't change the fact that I think it's awesome.
----
I have again sold my soul to The Drama Devil. At least until February.
However, this time it is truly worth it considering that I am playing the Wicked Witch of the West in Seckman's lovely (very close to the movie) version of The Wizard of Oz. Yearbook hasn't really been a problem, but I'm pretty sure that it has something to do with the server being down so really all progress/slavework is at a virtual standstill. (AMAZING!)
A few friends and I have finally decided to realize our dream--however unrealistic it may be. We have formed a band--a rock/indie/alternative/punk band to be exact. Even though we only consist of a guitarist, drummer and a vocalist, we are determined. (With that said, we are on the prowl for a bassist and a second/lead guitarist because I know I'm not that good.)
I really want pizza.
----
Why is Karma being such a bitch?
I haven't done anything to her.
So I have kind of just been waiting for something good to happen because that's all I've been trying to do, but Karma keeps giving me the cold shoulder.
Karma, how about we give our friendship a second chance, eh?
I really don't know.
Isn't like a diary?
I mean, that's how I've been treating it.
(So yes, dear aunts, I would write this way in a diary.)
With that said, here's one for current events:
I've got a reader and they are on to me.
Oddly, it's the most amazing thing ever.
I love it--the idea that someone actually understands my doublespeak.
Maybe I'm making a big deal of it, but it doesn't change the fact that I think it's awesome.
----
I have again sold my soul to The Drama Devil. At least until February.
However, this time it is truly worth it considering that I am playing the Wicked Witch of the West in Seckman's lovely (very close to the movie) version of The Wizard of Oz. Yearbook hasn't really been a problem, but I'm pretty sure that it has something to do with the server being down so really all progress/slavework is at a virtual standstill. (AMAZING!)
A few friends and I have finally decided to realize our dream--however unrealistic it may be. We have formed a band--a rock/indie/alternative/punk band to be exact. Even though we only consist of a guitarist, drummer and a vocalist, we are determined. (With that said, we are on the prowl for a bassist and a second/lead guitarist because I know I'm not that good.)
I really want pizza.
----
Why is Karma being such a bitch?
I haven't done anything to her.
So I have kind of just been waiting for something good to happen because that's all I've been trying to do, but Karma keeps giving me the cold shoulder.
Karma, how about we give our friendship a second chance, eh?
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