is....not that different. Well, it wasn't. Like I said earlier, I was back every day for Yearbook. It was fantastic. But then I had to leave for Disney World. I have been gone for a week and a half. I want to get back to Yearbook so badly. I mean, it's not like I didn't enjoy my time at the Disney World Resort--I had a great time--but it was so disruptive to Yearbook, which pretty much equals my life.
---
To go back to Disney World for a second: I had a great time, I just wish we could have had some down time.
---
Anyway back to the big picture of life after high school.
Well, it's strange, because I keep waiting to have to go back to school. You know, like this whole thing is an extended weekend and on some Monday (or knowing our district, a Thursday) I'll have to return to my senior schedule. I suppose this feeling will subside once I actually start college, but that concept is so abstract to me right now that it doesn't actually make me feel any better. I want to go back to school, in all honesty. Just not full time. Haha.
I do enjoy the absolute freedom and flexibility when it comes to being with my friends. Really, my second Family. To put this in perspective, the premise of the hit sitcom Friends may seem unrealistic, but because of my friends, I know it's not. We are the Friends in real life.
This, however, is underscored by the fact that I have not been home in a week and a half. I miss them terribly. It makes me realize how hard college is going to be on all of us. But I'm motivated by them. I know it's worth it. :)
One thing I don't like about graduating is the fact that everyone tells me "Congratulations!"
Congratulations on what? Was there ever any question in my graduating? Congratulations on doing what has now become expected? I mean, I know it used to be a huge accomplishment and a high school diploma used to be the key to success, but now it just means that you can go to college which is now the key to success (in most cases). It just grinds my gears! lol
In preparation for college, I have begun to reread Wicked and Moby-Dick and I am working on the 1998 Pulitzer Prize Finalist, A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius. I have also begun to nurse a fledgling interest in sports since Lindenwood is such a sports-intensive school. I am watching College Softball right now, in fact.
---
This place used to be
It
The Place
Utopia
But I am not sure
Whether I changed too much
And noticed too much
Or whether it changed too much
Simply due to being stagnant
Either way
I feel guilt.
---
I get it now--why you didn't stay around. Why, regardless of what I did, I couldn't keep you in my life. And even after I cried and prayed and cried and prayed, you didn't return. It's because you wouldn't fit in my Family. It would have been me jumping through hoops to keep both You and Them happy. I would have said it was worth it, but I don't know if it really would have been. Eventually, I would have had to choose between You and Them--a decision I don't know that I could make without losing both. God knew that made the choice for me. And as much as I loved you, I thank Him for that.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment