American Kryptonite

I would give anything to feel how it would feel to have you love me like I love you.
You need me in a tangible sense.
And I am all to happy to deliver.
I will be at your side forever.
And will only leave if you send me away.
Because I love you, your sadness is my sadness.
But also, your happiness is my happiness.
And I must remember that.

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So....
There is this band.
Five Iron Frenzy.
They are awesome.
I love them.
I have never been so encompassed by music in my life.
Except when I went to Tegan and Sara...
That was more of a spiritual experience though.
This is like....Godly.

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My mom told me yesterday (through a huge religious conversation) that she didn't know God.
I wanted to punch her.
I pointed out to her that it would be impossible for her not to know God.
How could she not know God, and go through my childhood (especially, the very beginning)?
How could she not know God, and be thankful for my brother?
She expects a relationship with God or miracles to be these...well, for lack of a better word, miraculous things when in all reality, God is in everything and miracles are everywhere.
She just needs to refocus.

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Maybe I should take a chance again?
I used to do that a lot, but ever since you left, I haven't found the courage.
It hasn't been worth it.
Well, this could be something great.
Perfect even.
I mean, you knew him, he was great.
Don't you think, if anyone is worth it, he is?
So I guess, I must relearn the boldness I used to possess.
And take a chance on being whole again.
Haha, we'll see how that pans out.

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I love the Olympics.
But then again, I hate them.
I mean.
Seriously.
Kelsey could do that shit.
Or....you could go into speed skating.
Kick those Koreans asses, for sure.
Ah, well.

And Then Things Take An Upward Turn

I am finally being honest with you.
And I am slowly coming to peace with your absence.
But you are still there with every beat--totally oblivious.

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Things are pretty fantastic.
I am helping a student that also has CP (much more involved) with a PSA-esque video.
Filming it anyway.
I am not going to lie, I almost cried today while we filmed her monologue.

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I have found myself in a band (legitimately) on accident.
Living Sitcom.
We are an acoustic outfit.
So far.

---

Bryan Capriglione is going to be taken down a peg.
That is pretty exciting.
Especially since I hate him.

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I have lost five pounds!!! WHOOOOO!!!!!

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My life has become a sitcom (hence the band name).
It's like The Office, Friends, and One Tree Hill all mixed together.
It can be pretty hilarious when it's not sucking because of plot complications.
We air on NBC on Thursdays at 9, but after next week we won't return until June because of the Olympics.

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I love my friends and someday we will probably all live within walking distance of each other.
I know you doubt this--I would too if I didn't know that something is different about us.
And I can't put my finger on it quite yet.

Taking a Ride

You can't rewind
You can't fast forward
You can't pause
You can't record
All you can do is live.
It's the only choice.
No matter how much you are hurting
No matter how much more you know
No matter how sure you are that things would be different if--
All you can do is live.
It's the only choice.

--

This would be so much easier to swallow if I had you.
And if I could get you off my heart.
And if I could be honest with you.
But I don't have you.
And you are driving me crazy.
And you don't deserve my trivial burden.

--

I am about to explode and I have no idea how long my fuse is.

--

For those of you who are wondering about my eight week program:
It's developed into more of a lifestyle change, rather than a weight loss program. Thus, it has become a much greater undertaking.

--

Check out Mercy.
It's an actual fantastic show on NBC.

The Beginning of My Eight Week Program

To put it simply, I am fed up. I'm not going to graduate borderline obese. I'm not going to start college this way either. I don't want to be this way anymore. But dammit, why do I have to be the one who actually has to work out? Why can't I just low-carb it or cut more calories? Oh, that's right! Because I have relatively good eating habits, however my metabolism is dead. FML.

I figure if I can shed 3-5 pounds every other week, I'll be set. Damn, damn, damn!

DDR is really nice though. :)

I'm Sorry I Can't Manage to Blog Regularly

Really, I am.

School is good. I do nothing all day "....and I don't give a SHIT!" Haha. It's nice, I mean after having years upon years of nose to the grindstone workload, it's nice to be able to breathe.

My birthday is coming up. It's my eighteenth birthday. That makes me an adult, right? I'm considered an adult by the law. I can vote. I can fill out a credit application. I can sign up to be considered to be a tester for the new game Star Wars: The Old Republic. Yes, that definitely makes me an adult.

I'm listening to my Yearbook Adviser teach her one of her LA III classes. I should just admit it to myself: I'm going to be an English teacher at some point in my life. Ah, jeez.

College.....what a horrible decision for a minor to make. Good thing I'll be an adult in a few weeks, a wave of true enlightenment will then envelop me and all will become clear. Wait.....isn't that nirvana?

As I Wait For Eggs To Boil

I dunno why, but I really have a craving for egg salad.

Anyway, I got really close to the conclusion of my quest to defeat Meatloaf. But then I bought Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children--Complete and now I am finding it hard to resume my quest. I mean, I already know how it ends, Aeris already died, I found out why Cloud is so freaking moody. So really, is there any need to continue?
I am such a slacker.

Yearbook camp was great. Me, Madz and Becca came up with a killer theme: "NOW is the Time".

I started going to this bible study group out of the Callahan church (Eagle Point). All seems well right now, but I've only been there two times. I wonder when I will really start to cause problems.

I currently hold all the top records on Wii Fit. Yes, and I am a crippled.

Pit camp starts Monday, and (hopefully) so will the filming of my new documentary. God willing.

Psst Don't tell anybody, but I'm kinda excited to head back to school.

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You came, you left.
And all I had was a glimpse.
Partly your fault, partly chance.
But mostly me and my shaky hands,
Unable to grasp a telephone.
But at least I know now
That I am just as alive to you
As you are to me.
If only I could now tell the truth.

Fine--You Got Me

I haven't resumed my battle with Meatloaf. It's irritating. But I am attending Yearbook Camp which is somewhat entertaining. We are getting a lot accomplished.

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lol God.
Freaking funny.
Fine.