Monday, November 15, 2010

Plausibility Be Damned

I hate that Vishal has become just a status update sent to my phone. He is(was?) my best guy friend. And now he's not. I am not happy with it at all, but I really don't know what to do about it.
I know I have a few posts about how my group of friends wasn't going to disintegrate into nothing. And to be fair, it didn't--it just morphed into crap.

It's really sad.

I miss my friends. I loved them so, and I still do, but I don't think we are or could ever be the same.

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Other than missing what was, my mind is almost entirely focused on what could be.

I can't believe my luck. I have breakfast with you every morning, talk to you every morning, see you smile every morning, hear you laugh every morning, simply get to know you every morning. And all I had to do was sit down with you.

It sounds like I'm in love, but know that I'm not. I'm just excited that I could possibly be leaving the hypothetical and entering the actual. Just the possibility makes me giddy.

Part of me is worried for the rest. It says, "Don't get set in place. You know that doesn't make a difference."

I know, I know.

But maybe this is one of those other things that just work.

"Stop it."

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God, I was thrown for a loop in French today.
It was so unexpected--all of it. The event, the situation, and my reaction.
I didn't know I was like that, but apparently, I am.

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If I had a million dollars I would buy college degrees for me and Jen.

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