Monday, August 9, 2010

Nine Days Left

Everyone always asks "Are you ready for college?"
They should really ask "Are you ready to leave high school behind?"

I know a lot of people who say yes instantly, but after they thought about it - what leaving high school behind really meant - I don't know if all of them would remain so confident in their answer. I, for one, am not ready to leave high school behind. I am not ready to only see two/three of my friends on a regular basis. I am not ready to be faced with strangers for the most part. I am not ready to be completely unknown.

This may seem strange to some because I am very out-going. Shyness, anxiety - they are foreign emotions for the most part. I probably haven't felt them since kindergarten. College is a lot like kindergarten. It's like kindergarten's evil twin. For all intents and purposes, no one knows anyone. Thus, a child's task for eight hours a day, five days a week, and 180 days a year is to make friends. I am convinced that reason for all the play time. However, the key to kindergarten is that it is comprised of innocent five year olds - without bias or past experience. College is comprised of 18-23 year olds who have been jaded by life in at least one way or another, who want to make friends that don't conflict with their preconceived notions or personal goals in life. Fantastic.

Don't get me wrong, I am ready for college. For the academia, at least. I'm fine living on my own. And I like meeting new people quite a bit (generally, it's my favorite thing to do), but the atmosphere as a whole is quite scary.

Essentially, when someone asks me if I am ready for college, I instantaneously visualize me and all of my friends holding hands in a huge circle. Then, suddenly, some black hooded figure grabs one of my hands and breaks the circle. It becomes a horribly matched game of Tug of War with the superhumanly strong hooded figure on the right, all my friends on the left, and I am the rope. Eventually, my friends fail and I am then dragged away screaming in protest while I look back at my melancholy friends.

Yes, the two questions are different, but undeniably intertwined.


If I could bottle Us
If I could capture Us
If I could explain Us
The World would know
And the World
Would love Us

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