Wednesday, December 1, 2010

And Then I Just Get Confused

Nights like this make me think that I didn't screw up. It feels so good to be completely comfortable with some people.

And I mean, if the RD and I had more than awkward/awesome conversations, I might feel like I'm not a total screw up.
One more new friend would be nice--then I would have three. yay...

But then I think about what I want--really want--it's so far way. Why did I have to make it even harder by choosing to get my degree in a dead zone? Grad school at NYU...could be beneficial, but why didn't I just bite the bullet, sign my soul away to the bank and do my undergrad somewhere like that? Why did I have to be a baby?

I need experience. I need progress. I need to feel like I am getting somewhere.

Any way I look at it, it's too late. I ruined everything.

Will someone make movies with me? Will someone help me? This will be the most arduous journey I ever make. Will someone help me on my way?


If I were anyone else.
If you were anyone else.
We would be something else.

Wouldn't we?

1 comment:

MyBlueHeaven said...

Oh Nats! Be satisfied with yourself. You're a lovely, talented girl.