Heartbreak

That's what this is. I thought I knew what I felt like, but now I know I was wrong. This is heartbreak.

You read this, Colleen? You think you know how I feel about you? You don't. You have no idea.

God, if you read--I mean, REALLY READ--this blog you would know that I consider you to be an absolute miracle in my life. Meeting you and you accepting me can only be described as miraculous.

My hands are shaking, my breath is uneven, it feel like's my heart is racing and stopped at the same time, my throat is tight, my stomach is gone.

The idea of you hating me, of me making you cry, is making me want to vomit.

I love you more than you could ever fathom, and the fact that you think any less--it's the worst thing I have ever felt.